Sophia and dwarfism

well it is Dwarfism Awareness month. If you want to read up on it-http://www.understandingdwarfism.com .

i can't help but think of our sweet little girl. it is weird as i feel tied to the world of little people and love following blogs of other parents that have children with dwarfism. mainly because i love seeing them live these wonderful lives and thinking of what our sweet girl would look like if she were here with us now. i know i have said it before- even though it would have been a hard path we would have loved raising Sophia. she would have been so dang cute.

the weird part is having a child who had dwarfism and feeling tied to that community, yet not looking like i should be tied to it. it is weird- as when i see a little person- i want to run up and say hey- my daughter had dwarfism. it would be weird and awkward i am sure, just because they have dwarfism i think they should care my daughter did- silly i know. i think i just want to feel that connection to those like my daughter. but i know that if i had her with me they would stop and notice her. (maybe i am wrong). i see other parents talking (they call themselves POLP -parent of a little person). which i know i technically am, but since i don't live it day to day it doesn't feel as real.

a lot of little people don't want to be defined with having dwarfism as they are so much more than just that. and they are. but with losing a child to dwarfism- it really does define my child. we didn't have the opportunity to have her spunky personality (which i am sure she would have had) define her. all we had was her physical self and all the cute small parts are what defined her and is what we have to remember her by. so while some want to move past the fact they have dwarfism- i want to cling to that. as it is really all we have that made her special and was what God blessed her with. 

anyway- i can't wait to tell Blake all about his big (little) sister. i hope that one day he is proud of who she is and what made her special. i hope he stands up for those that look different and appreciates them for their differences. i hope he (like us) has a special place in his heart for those with dwarfism.

i hope you all think of little people a different way after having known Sophia. i also am using this post to help remind people to not use the "m word". if you want to read why that is offensive- this great post helped explain it in a detailed way http://knoahsarc.org/2010/04/25/the-m-word-repost-from-0909/.

here is the little guy- wearing a shirt super proud to be Sophia's little brother.

speaking of that little cutie... here she is.  (i didn't think they looked that much alike before but i think they do here)

polp- tristen

baby blake

wow. having a baby at home is awesome. i mean really really awesome.

we are so completely in love with our little guy and seriously can't get enough of him. poor kid gets smothered in kisses and hugs.

it is finally starting to set in that this is our baby. we are going to raise him. he will know we are his parents. i have literally cried tears of joy over this, as i feel so fortunate to get to do this. the other day i had him snuggled on my chest and kept thinking- this is what i was made for. i was made to be a mommy. i love this new role more than anything. when my doctor asks about baby blues- i only say i am crying tears of joy. i actually feel a blissful high from my sweet baby.

i know it isn't a new role, but it is. i think having him has shown me how incredibly fast our time passed with sophia and how it really didn't feel real before it was all ready over. the snuggles and kisses were cut short. we got to look at all her details but not long enough. by the time it set in that she was our baby, she was gone and i cried hard missing my baby. my arms ached for more time.

i keep thinking of this song that says- "There is hope in your name, mourning turns to songs of praise". that is where i feel we are. we can praise God for not only this little boy but for the big sister we get to tell him all about.

i will say that it all was so much was easier this time. the birth/labor was quick. my recovery has been better. my body seems to have bounced back quicker and i feel over all good. i don't know if it is because the labor was quicker or if the fact that i now have a baby to keep my attention. even just being able to breast feed has helped- as it felt like i had a big ole belly last time alot longer. i just cannot stress how much better this birth was- as i was so anxious about it being long and painful. it was awesome- so much so that afterward i told aj i want to have a million more babies. ha! not really- but i see how people can have multiple kids now. i was starting to doubt i could keep doing this if it was as rough as it was (physically) as it was last time.

anyway- our joy is ridiculous. as is our family's. we are all so in love with him and feeling so blessed.  thank you for all your prayers and love. below is a link to some pics of the little guy and our new little family.

http://www.oertliphotography.com/2012/08/baby-blake-is-here-littleton-newborn-photographer/

full of joy- the dinkel family!

Another update

Well Blake is out of the NICU. The doctors think the only problem was the inflammation from the suctioning and it's been improving with the nose drops. He's not grunting as much and he's breathing really well. So they moved us back to our regular room and they're just going to keep us for one more night and then hopefully we get to take him tomorrow! Thanks for the prayers. 

Prayer Request

Hello again. This is A.J. So Blake is doing well today. Yesterday when he arrived in this world he started to breathe a little too early and inhaled a bunch of nasty fluid so he had to be suctioned a little more than normal through his nose and mouth. One of the side effects of that suctioning is inflammation in the nasal airways. Since his are so tiny to begin with he didn't have much room left to breath through his nose and was having some trouble breathing yesterday so he was admitted to the NICU yesterday afternoon. They did some tests and x-rays and didn't find anything else wrong which is a relief so they're pretty sure it's just the inflammation so he's been getting some nose drops to help with that and he is doing much better today. He was grunting and snoring like a little piggy all day yesterday (which was kind of cute and funny even though it was because he couldn't breathe too well) and today the grunting and snoring is drastically reduced. He's feeding well and looks handsome as ever. We're hoping today that they will discharge him from the NICU which it sounds like they will and that we get to take our little guy home with us today. Prayers would be greatly appreciated. Tristen is doing well, tired as all new mother's are but taking excellent care of Blake and just being an all around outstanding mom. I'm tired too but otherwise doing great. The staff here at Swedish has been outstanding and all the nurses and docs are doing they're best to make sure we're taken care of. We've received a ton of support from our friends and family and we can't say thank you enough to all of those who have been by our side through everything. We are truly blessed. More posts to follow. Right now I have to go find the manual for this baby and look up the chapter on diaper changing.....I think the pamphlets are in the lobby. God bless.

Blake is here!

Blake Dinkel was born at 6:58 this morning and doing well. Tristen is also healthy and doing well. We'll add pictures and other info shortly.

We're at the hospital!

So this is A.J., as you can probably tell by the proper punctuation and capitalization; but I digress. We're at the hospital. Tristen is 3-4cm dilated and I don't know how much effaced. She just got the epidural and is much more comfortable. Very soon we should get to meet our little guy in person. We'll keep you posted. Prayers are welcome and appreciated.

good results

so for real a quick update.

test results looked pretty good. still have protein in my urine but they aren't concerned. so neither am i. yay for no inducing!

so now we wait. i am due next week! wow.

i have been having alot more contractions.... so we shall see how the week goes.

please keep my mom in your prayers- she is having her gallbladder out tomorrow (poor girl has been feeling terrible this past week). hoping for a speedy recovery and that this babe stays in a few more days so she can make her way out here when i am in labor.

-t