Sophia Rose Dinkel was born at 2:40 am on 1-26-11, weighing 5lbs 2.8oz, 15" long, after 24 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing by her momma. She tolerated labor well, with a good heart rate as long as her mommy wore oxygen most of the time. She came out not breathing or crying, all though she did have a heart rate. The Neonatologist took her and deep suctioned her but still couldn't get her to start breathing. She did look like her diagnosis of Achondrogenesis Type II, and due to that they encouraged us not to pursue any further therapies at this time, as she didn't appear to have enough lung tissue to support life. She did open one eye partly and let out a few little gasps, and tried to make a cry at one point, but overall she came out very peaceful and never seemed to be fighting to stay in this world. God took her as soon as she was born. She passed away sometime while being held and at 3:35 am when we checked for a heartbeat there was none to be found.
We were able to spend some very special time with her.... she was wrapped up in her blanket and we put a cute little knit hat on her. Her daddy held her while her mommy was being fixed up and he let our entire family hold her as well. There were many tears shed over how absolutely beautiful she was and how cute her little arms and legs were. She is the most beautiful baby I have ever met in my life. She had a full head of hair that was short, reddish-brown and curly and so very very soft. She had long fingers and turned in but perfectly shaped little feet. Her daddy and nana gave her a bath to clean her all up. Then her mommy and grandma lotioned her up and put on one of her many outfits she wore. She smelled and looked like a little princess. Everyone took turns holding her, talking to her, kissing her and loving on her. Our pastor- Duane came and baptized Sophia and provided us with some support and love. We also took some time to capture Sophia's footprints and hand prints on some memento's and in our bibles.
We do find peace and comfort in the promise that God has her and we will see her again someday. But our hearts are aching in a way not known was possible right now. It all felt too quick and I don't think you could ever feel like any amount of time is enough to spend with your child. It all seemed to pass too quickly and next thing we knew we had to hand over our baby to not see her again on earth. This is by far the hardest thing either of us have ever had to do in our lives. I could never have enough time to kiss every part of her or coo over how adorable and perfect she looked. She will always have a special part in our hearts and will have touched more lives than we thought possible. We have peace that God was in control of this and has a plan for this, and he will heal our hearts in time.
Just one last thought- please do not be afraid to bring up Sophia to us. So many families experience that after the loss of a child- where people are afraid to bring it up and simply do not talk of the child that passed. We do not want to pretend she didn't exist or ignore the fact she was born. We rejoice that we were able to have her and meet her and love her and she will always be our little girl. We may not want to dwell in the pain of the loss, but we are not afraid to talk about her or show you pictures.
Luckily this whole time we were blessed to have had The String of Pearls Organization (http://stringofpearlsonline.org/) helping support us in every possible way (with momento's and emotional support) and helping us arrange to have Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Organization (http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/) provide us with a free photographer to capture a lot of our time with her. Our Deepest thanks goes to both organizations for helping. If you want to donate in any way- I would encourage you to do it to these organizations.
We will not be having a funeral service for Sophia. We are having her cremated and will do our own special ceremony for her sometime in the mountains when we are ready.
Thank you to everyone for your prayers/thoughts/gifts/food during this entire process. Not only has it blessed us and helped us in such big ways, but it has really taught us the meaning of community. We have grown so much through this. We can't say thank you enough.
all our love- tristen, aaron and our daughter in heaven- sophia