I have created this list based on things some wonderful people have done for me and things I have read about other's doing.
Right after the death:
- If she got to deliver, ask her about it. Every mom want's to talk about birthing.
- Bring them meals. (don't forget about breakfast)
- If you arrange for meals to be delivered to them, have them place a cooler on their porch. (this isn't the time for small talk with random people dropping off meals)
- Text and email them. (we may not want to answer calls but appreciate knowing we are thought of)
- Pray for them. Hard.
- Send a card or note.
- Attend any memorial service they might have.
- Remember the child's birthday's (including the monthly one's for the first year)
- Remember that holiday's are hard for them. No matter the holiday.
- Send gift cards for meals or to go do something.
- Send a gift card for the mommy to buy some clothes other than maternity clothes.
- Continue to send card's letting them know your child is still thought of.
- Ask to see their photo books or videos.
- Giving any kind of momento gift with their child's birthday or name on it.
- Go watch a movie on their couch with them. Join them where they feel comfortable.
- Mention the child's name and talk about them.
- Continue to send little gifts to the mom, just to remind her she is thought of.
- Donating in the child's name to an organization.