quick update

well this little boy is still cooking.

last week i started having some headaches, swelling and nausea.  so i came to work and dipped my urine and got some protein and had an elevated blood pressure for me... which for other people is still a normal reading, but still abnormal for me. called the dr office and they had me come in. labs showed high protein in my urine too. told me to drink up and come in the next day- hoping i was dehydrated. then on friday got more labs done- they called saying i was pre-eclamptic and to come back in for an ultrasound and non-stress test for the baby.

at that point we are freaking out- not feeling ready to have a baby yet- although i was going on 37 weeks and he would be fine... we just aren't fully unpacked and prepared on our end. ha. the ultrasound showed the little guy is growing just fine- all ready 6 lbs 12 oz... but the dr i saw wasn't concerned like the nurse practiioners were. told me to take tylenol and drink up.

monday appt- i had gained 3lbs of fluid since thursday (have drank gallons of water by this point) but seem to be retaining more of it now. so they are having me collect 24 hours of urine for a more accurate protien count and redo some labs since i had some abnormally shaped blood cells that indicate pre-eclampsia. i turned all that in today and drew labs.  so we shall see what they say.

if i am pre-eclamptic we will just induce and bring the little guy on early- though at this point i'm not early... almost 38 weeks. i am bummed to have to induce but all i care about is a heatlhy baby and keeping myself healthy too.

holy cow! it is august- i will have a baby this month! that is what keeps running through my mind, whether we induce or not a baby is coming soon. we spent this weekend and beginning of the week getting things semi finished. our tiny little apartment is ready for the little guy.

part of me is getting a little anxious- waiting is hard as i am starting to worry a little that something will go wrong. that i will have gone through 2 pregnancies and again not end up with a baby. i know it is normal to be worried- but it is annoying. i hate having those thoughts cross my mind. when they do i try to stop and just say- God you have this. this baby is yours no matter what. please allow us the chance to raise this baby and love on him.  so far i am doing okay.

it's getting more real and i think aj and i are both realizing that we may actually come home with a baby and woah! life is going to change. how am i going to be a mommy and wife? how will i give my hubby the attention he deserves and wants along with caring for a baby as well? all things that people figure out and i know i will... well we will. i can't wait for it. my heart longs to hold another one of my babies- last time was not nearly long enough. i'm sure it is going to be emotional and bring back memories of holding our sweet girl (although he is going to seem ginormous compared to her). i just feel so happy and blessed to get to do this again. i long for hearing those sweet crys that i didn't get to hear last time. a baby gasping for air as his parents cry tears of joy. i can't wait to tell him all about her.

speaking of our girl- we did the String Of Pearls run/walk this past weekend in her memory again. well we just helped at the event this year since we didn't have much of a team and i couldn't partake in a hot walk. once i get the pic off my camera i will put it on here- i love that each year we will be able to document our family at the event and how it grows. this year was easier than last- our hearts weren't so fresh with pain. it's fun to wear our rose pins and be proud parents of such a special girl and life.

anyway- that is my lunch break (we don't have internet at our apt) guess it wasn't such a quick update. ha. oops.

soon to be holding a baby in my arms- t