2 months down

well our little guy... and us- have made it through the first 2 months.

those first 2 months are rough- alot of crying, eating and broken up sleep. it is finally starting to even out. he is not crying very much at all- he is actually a super happy smiley baby most of the time. and is starting to sleep better- 5-7 hours at a time at night.

we are starting to sleep train him- which people call "sleep training" or "learning to sleep independently"- which are basically nice ways of saying- you let your baby scream his head off when you put him down to sleep. i don't think i realized everyone basically does this- but they do. and so we are... mostly because i want him to sleep without me holding him to get him to sleep so that when he goes to the baby-sitters in 2 weeks that he will be easier for her to take care of him. also- because i want him to get some good hugs and kisses in between the cry sessions. i can't decide who it is harder on- him or us?

we think he is just the cutest baby ever- but don't all parents think that? we are suppose to so we can tolerate the hard parts of parenting right? but seriously- look at this kid:

cute-teeee...

look how much he had changed from month 1 to month 2:

anyway- we are completely in love with this kid and loving being parents. even though it is a super tough job- it is one we feel so blessed to be able to do.

i go back to work next week (now for the common question: how do you feel about that? are you so sad?) maybe i am a bad mom, but i am kind of glad to go back and have a break here and there from being a full time mommy every second of the day. i am glad to go pee and eat meals without holding a baby. it will only be 2 days a week- which i think is perfect. enough time to feel like a functioning adult and have real thought and conversation, but not too long to be away from him. i do think that any more than that and i would be sad. i like being responsible for teaching him things and making him smile most of the day.  i'm hoping something will come together in the next week or so and i will go back to a job that is a little different than what i have been doing, but hopefully still within Neurology.

we unfortunately have had some job changes occur for aj, so we are not going to be able to buy a house right now. instead we are going to have to move again- as we had only moved in this 1 bedroom apt while we looked for a house (and have kept a lot of our stuff in storage). so we shall move again in to a 2 bedroom condo for 11 months and save some more and hopefully buy a house then. there are some perks to this condo: the price is good, it's near our church and most of our friends and the little guy can have his own room. it's not what we had planned to do, but life happens. so we are thankful for this opportunity that opened up to us. but ugh! moving again. and then again. i'm ready for a house so i can stop moving for a long while. ha.

well that is us for now. thanks for reading and caring about what is going on in our lives.

the proudest mommy around- tristen

Sophia and dwarfism

well it is Dwarfism Awareness month. If you want to read up on it-http://www.understandingdwarfism.com .

i can't help but think of our sweet little girl. it is weird as i feel tied to the world of little people and love following blogs of other parents that have children with dwarfism. mainly because i love seeing them live these wonderful lives and thinking of what our sweet girl would look like if she were here with us now. i know i have said it before- even though it would have been a hard path we would have loved raising Sophia. she would have been so dang cute.

the weird part is having a child who had dwarfism and feeling tied to that community, yet not looking like i should be tied to it. it is weird- as when i see a little person- i want to run up and say hey- my daughter had dwarfism. it would be weird and awkward i am sure, just because they have dwarfism i think they should care my daughter did- silly i know. i think i just want to feel that connection to those like my daughter. but i know that if i had her with me they would stop and notice her. (maybe i am wrong). i see other parents talking (they call themselves POLP -parent of a little person). which i know i technically am, but since i don't live it day to day it doesn't feel as real.

a lot of little people don't want to be defined with having dwarfism as they are so much more than just that. and they are. but with losing a child to dwarfism- it really does define my child. we didn't have the opportunity to have her spunky personality (which i am sure she would have had) define her. all we had was her physical self and all the cute small parts are what defined her and is what we have to remember her by. so while some want to move past the fact they have dwarfism- i want to cling to that. as it is really all we have that made her special and was what God blessed her with. 

anyway- i can't wait to tell Blake all about his big (little) sister. i hope that one day he is proud of who she is and what made her special. i hope he stands up for those that look different and appreciates them for their differences. i hope he (like us) has a special place in his heart for those with dwarfism.

i hope you all think of little people a different way after having known Sophia. i also am using this post to help remind people to not use the "m word". if you want to read why that is offensive- this great post helped explain it in a detailed way http://knoahsarc.org/2010/04/25/the-m-word-repost-from-0909/.

here is the little guy- wearing a shirt super proud to be Sophia's little brother.

speaking of that little cutie... here she is.  (i didn't think they looked that much alike before but i think they do here)

polp- tristen