the last draining

so our weekend has been eventful for many reasons. AJ's parents came to visit.... and by visit i mean they came to be our man labor. ha. bless their hearts. they absolutely saved us by coming and helping to get our house in order. everything from finishing off the nursery (painting, setting up furniture) to cleaning around the house. all the little stuff that we were stressing to get done. this takes a huge burden off of both of our plates.

AJ also had his graduation from his academy. ill post a picture from this and of the nursery when i get them uploaded. but it didn't go off without a hitch. about 2pm i started noticing my contractions to be getting stronger and more consistent. i chugged a bunch of water and continued to rest, yet they continued. so around 330 i called by doctor and they said i could drink more water and rest, but knowing i had AJ's graduation at 6:30 i decided to go in right away so they could check to make sure i wasn't dialating and to see what was going on and make it stop. ha. so Dianne and I went to the hospital while AJ got ready for his ceremony. luckily i was only 1cm dialated- normal at this point in pregnancy and 70% effaced. but unfortunately when they did an ultrasound my fluid was back up to 34cm, which since i am getting later in my pregnancy my body is not tolerating the extra fluid as well.

luckily my doctors and hospital are awesome- and knowing that we wanted to try and make it to AJ's ceremony- they performed another reduction amniocentesis and drained off 2500 ml. the procedure went well, i really like the doctor that i had (she was the one I had the first time i was reduced). the only snag was miss sophia who kept sticking her foot in the way of the catheter, when the doctor pushed her foot with the end of the catheter she would pull it down and then push it back up. she must have thought we were playing some kind of game. ha. cuteness. we then had to go back to be monitored for only 30 minutes. which went well and then we were gone- straight to the ceremony. we made it just in time for me to see AJ getting his diploma and then i was able to pin him! :o) i of course wasn't feeling so hot, so i had to sit a lot- as i was contracting and my muscles were sore as always. we went to dinner to celebrate and then came home to relax.

they drew a test called Fetal Lung Maturity test with my amniotic fluid. which they warned us would be diluted due to my extra fluid- so it was probably not going to be very accurate- but we could draw and see what it was. good maturity would register around 55, her test came back as 9. really only 9? i know they say we should put too much stock in to the test as we don't know what the diluted fluid would do to the results- but this test result was reallllllly disappointing. one of those that you want to just choose to ignore, but can't get out of your head to ignore that result. it was one of those that woke me up in the middle of the night and wouldn't let me go back to sleep. it was one that haunted me and told me- you probably aren't going to be bringing a baby home. you may only get a short time with her. it makes my heart hurt and makes me cry. why are you decorating the nursery? why are you folding baby clothes? this ache in your heart for a baby to take care of and bring home to raise is going to remain and you will have a new ache in your heart that remains the rest of your life.

sorry. im sad. which comes and goes. and i know is okay to feel. as you can tell i like to write as a way to kind of process things, so you get to know my thoughts, fears and joys along with me.

anyway- we have our last growth ultrasound on tuesday and will be talking with our doctor one last official time to see what the plan is and if we have any picture of what is going to happen. when i got tapped yesterday- Dr Becker said they probably will not be draining my fluid any more since we are in the end stretch. they will let me go into labor when i go and let things progress. which is a slight relief in the way that i do not want to have anymore needles stuck in me like that again. it isn't worth it to only make it 1 or 2 more weeks at this point. unless they said i have to and then i would be the good mommy i am trying to be and suck it up. so we will know more on tuesday and will know one last time what her growth looks like.

pray. just pray what comes to your heart. i have nothing to add that we haven't all ready asked for.

-tristen