my new year

well it is my birthday- which is when my new year usually starts.... i'm hesitant about celebrating this next year of my life. i'm actually terrified of what this new year holds to be honest.... it could be really great or really horrible or more than likely both at the same time. yikes.

this year has all ready started off being both. for instance- i went to return a dress i had gotten for Sophia at Gap. it was a size 0-3 months, which is the smallest they make. when the lady behind the counter asked if i was returning it "because it was too small" i said no, it is going to be too big- she will be wearing preemie clothes. the lady looked at me confused, seeing as i was still pregnant, she asks- "when did you have your baby?" i proceed to say she hasn't come yet, but i know she will be in smaller sizes and that (this is something i never do- sharing her diagnosis) she is going to be a dwarf (may i note i said this in a serious way). the lady- then proceeds to laugh to herself and say "ha a dwarf". then me in my shock that she would think i was joking- say again even more seriously- no really she is going to be a dwarf.... the lady then proceeds to not look me in the face and handed me my receipt. i laughed all the way out the store at the ridiculousness of this encounter. maybe if i had used the m word in reference to little people i could see how she would think i was joking... but who even jokes about a baby being short anyway?

on the other hand- we continue to be blessed in such huge- unexpected ways by people we know and don't know. gift cards and words of encouragement. one of the most surprising and wonderful gifts was a woman at my work who donated some of her PTO to me so i can get paid for more hours while on maternity leave- since i don't have much left after all my doctors appt's when i was still working 8 hour shifts. something i didn't even know people could do that will help us so much. again- people and God are amazing. he continues to show us that he will provide for us.

i am 35 weeks this week- only 4 weeks left. i don't think i am ready for her to come out anytime soon. besides all the drama and emotional turmoil. the pregnancy has been physically rather great to me. i wasn't ever that nauseated or miserable. yes i was in alot of pain when i had the extra fluid on me, but even with that it was tolerable. it is amazing how tolerant your body is of all of the changes. this week at our dr appts- my tummy was only measuring 35 weeks, so i have a regular sized tummy again. ha. and my fluid only measured 27cm. so i gained 7 cm in 1 week. my goal is to make it another 2 weeks.... we will see. i also have to note that the past few times they have seen her hair floating around her head in the ultrasound- which is so super cute. i was a bald baby so it's fun she will have some hair. unfortunately they can't tell me if it is red :o( (which if any of you know- i absolutely love and am hoping one of our children get from their father)

we have our last growth ultrasound on tuesday the 11th. so our last look at how big her limbs and chest is until we get to see her in person. we also get our maternity pictures taken by a wonderful friend and photographer we know. i am excited yet know it will be interesting. aj has worked diligently to finish painting the nursery in his limited free time. i can't wait to get some of the furniture put together this weekend and make it feel like a real nursery. my need to nest and make a place for my baby is in over-drive and my poor husband has to do alot of the work. hopefully nana and papa dinkel will give him some help this weekend when they are visiting.

speaking more on my husband- he has his graduation on saturday from his academy- his first time to ever wear firefighter "blues" (the official uniform). he will officially now be a firefighter and we will have the license plates to prove it :o) ha. i am so proud of how hard he worked the past 5 + years to get to this place. he is going to do amazing and i know that what ever dept hires him full time will be lucky to have him. i can't wait for him to be blessed in this way. after all he has worked for and all i put the poor guy thru he deserves some good things to happen for him admist all of this junk. so i just want to thank him for being who he is and putting up with me normally and now with all my hormones and random crying fits. you are an amazing guy and i know i don't tell you enough how much i admire you and what you do for me and our family. my resolution this new year is to thank you more, say more words of encouragement and not criticise you as much. i promise to love you and be there for you no matter what this next year holds for us. i also promise to do whatever i can to be a crown for you and not a thorn in your side. i love you with all my heart.

continued prayer requests-

+ sophia to grow and be healed
+ her lungs to develop/mature as much as possible
+ God to guide us on how to budget our finances
+ that AJ is blessed with a firefighting job
+ that Tristen does not go in to labor early

love- the birthday girl