it is so hard to believe that 1 year ago today we held you in our arms for a time that was far too short. going back through all of your pictures and video, reminded me how far we have come. from those hours that I remember spending with you and you seemed so real and special, to the days after where we were in a grieving fog of tears and pain. the first few months were really really hard. then day by day, month by month we were given peace and our pain lessened. although our memories and love for you will never change. i remember the day you were born- we loved on you and talked to you and smothered you with more kisses and cuddles that one would ever think possible in just a few hours. when i left the hospital- i was in complete shock- i couldn't believe what had just happened and was too tired to feel very much. then that night after dinner, while we were sitting on the couch with some family, i finally realized- oh my gosh! i had a baby today (which felt like it had happened so long ago at that point) and she isn't here and my heart hurt more than i could fathom. (thank goodness for sleeping medications)
i look back and see how far aj and i have come- both personally and in our marriage. what a year this has been. one i never ever want to relive, but one i am so thankful for having gone through- because this meant you came in to our lives. we are parents because you existed and we cared for you the best God would allow us.
today we brought you a cupcake (that had sprinkles on it- because we thought if you were here you would have liked that) with a #1 on it, a rose, a card from your daddy and we bought a present for you that we are going to donate in your memory. can i just note- how stinking cute it would have been to watch you dig in to a cupcake with your cute little arms and hands. although i'm sure with the dinkel in you- you could take down some sweets.
there were some much needed/due tears and some laughs. when we lit your candle we sang you happy birthday- and as soon as we finished- the candle blew out. we both laughed and smiled thinking that you blew your candle out. it was perfect timing! we miss you and our hearts are full with love for you. our family and friends have been so very thoughtful this week- they have sent flowers, cards and so many loving thoughts/prayers. it helped carry us through.
the flowers we got from work...
i also put together a slide show of pictures of sophia and our time with her.... it took me awhile to decide if i wanted to share it, but you have prayed with us and carried us through our year. i am honored to show you our precious time with our daughter.
enjoy...
love- sophia's mommy and daddy
I was doing a search about Hypochondrogenesis when I found your blog. I am so sorry for your loss. I kind of know what you've gone through and are going through. On February 22nd of this year, it'll be 24 years since my sweet daughter - Amanda Christine - was born and later diagnosed with Hypochondrogenesis. Not much was known about it at that time. Her story is HERE, if you're interested.
ReplyDeleteHappy 1st birthday to Sophia. God bless your family.
What a beautiful, touching tribute to your sweet little girl! Yesterday I prayed for the peace and comfort that passes all understanding for you and AJ and it certainly sounds like you were already there! Happy belated birthday, darling little Sophia Rose!
ReplyDeleteWow. I just cried through the whole thing. My favorite part was seeing the pictures of you and AJ seeing Sophia for the first time. It was just amazing the looks of joy on your faces. It was perfect. We love you guys so much and are praying lots and lots and lots.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful celebration for a beautiful baby! Thank you for sharing the slide show -- I am still bawling at the moment. It is a touching tribute. So glad God (and Sophia) brought the sun out so you could remember her.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Sophia Rose! We miss you!!
Happy birthday sophia!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this with everyone. I really enjoyed seeing how loved Sophia was and how many were able to be there to celebrate her birth.
We do miss you Sophia Rose. You will always be in our hearts.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful tribute to a very special young lady. Thank you, Tristen and A.J., for the love you showed Sophia during your pregnancy and those few hours you got to spend with her. May God bless you and comfort you each day. We know we shall see her in Heaven one day and she is safe in Jesus' arms.
ReplyDeleteTristen, what a beautiful tribute. You continue to be in my heart. The more I think about it, the more I believe our girls are the best of friends. I'm so glad we 'found' one another, and I have found such encouragement in you. Sophia, I'm sure, is so proud of her mommy and daddy. It's been a good, hard year and you are loved.
ReplyDeleteDear Tristen and AJ,
ReplyDeleteThat was the most unbelievable video I have ever seen in my life. Throughout the entire video I felt the LOVE you all felt for Sophia. It was so touching and beautiful. I cried from beginning to end! Here is a poem I found. I hope you like it! Happy Birthday Sweet Sophia Dinkel! You have two parents who love you very much! You are a very lucky little girl! Hugs and Kisses being sent to you from Long Island, NY
These are my footprints,
so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints,
never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint,
for now I have wings.
These tiny footprints were meant
for other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints,
in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in each butterflies lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you,
if you just give me the chance.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind,
and call each one who grieves.
Most of all, these tiny footprints,
are found on MOMMY'S heart.
'Cause even though I'm gone now,
We'll never truly part.
~Unknown
Thank you so much for sharing - thinking and praying for you all
ReplyDeletexox
Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter with us. You and your husband are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteThat slide show was amazing. I wish we had done so much with sweet Bennett. He came without any warning at 31 weeks and I was not prepared with anything for him and did not think he would be leaving us so soon. Seeing all those pictures with her and you all makes me really wish we had done more. Happy Birthday sweet girl!! Please find Bennett-- I am sure you all will be great friends!!
ReplyDelete